How To Stop Suffering, by Mokshadas. A single white flower on a rock, with a mountain and morning clouds behind it.

How To Stop Suffering

Suffering feels like thinking. It feels like caring. It feels like the very thing a serious person in your situation ought to be doing. It is none of those things, and it is where nearly all of your suffering actually lives.

This book asks you to believe nothing. It makes one distinction and then tests it, chapter by chapter, against the places you actually hurt. Grief. Illness. Money. The marriage that ended. The child you cannot help. The three in the morning ceiling.

There is no vocabulary to learn and no tradition to join. You will not be told that your losses were illusions or that your grief is a mistake. Only that the argument with life is optional, that it has been running for years without your consent, and that when it stops, what is left is not numbness. It is your life, finally, without the suffering on top of it.


The paperback cover of How To Stop Suffering.

218 pages. Sixteen chapters. Three interludes.

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Contents

Every chapter below can be read here in the browser.

Part One: What Suffering Actually Is

  1. 1The Pain You Cannot Avoid And The Pain You Can
  2. 2The Argument With What Is
  3. 3Everything You Have Already Tried
  4. 4What This Book Cannot Do
  5. 5Why Understanding Does Not Help
  6. But I Have Real Problems

Part Two: Looking For Yourself

  1. 6Where Exactly Is The Sufferer?
  2. 7What A Feeling Is Actually Made Of
  3. 8The Story And The One Who Tells It
  4. 9The Thing That Never Changed
  5. 10Home Was Never Far Away
  6. I Looked And I Did Not Find Anything

Part Three: Coming Back

  1. 11There Is Nothing To Reject
  2. 12When The Pain Comes Back
  3. 13Grief, And Why It Belongs
  4. 14Other People
  5. 15The Laundry
  6. It Did Not Last
  7. 16The End Of The Argument

Contact

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A Note Before You Begin

This book is not a substitute for treatment. It says so at length in chapter four, and the point is too important to wait that long.

If you are in clinical depression, get treatment. If you are drinking or using in a way you cannot stop, get help, the real kind, with people in it. If something happened to you that no one should have to survive, find someone trained in exactly that. None of that is a failure, and none of it competes with a single word in these pages. You can take the pill and read the book.

And if the thought of ending your life has been visiting you, put this down now, today, and tell a person. A doctor, a crisis line, the one friend who always picks up. Do not bring a paperback to that moment. Bring people.

In the United States and Canada, call or text 988. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, call 116 123. Elsewhere, findahelpline.com will find the number where you are.